Winter is over. Spring is here but you can’t forget the menace of a snotty nose in a hurry.
Of course, folks still get snotty noses in the spring or any other season for that matter. Well, you get the point. Which is—snotty noses are a common malady.
They are a necessary inconvenience. The nasal lining tries to evict germs in the body by manufacturing snot. When you sneeze, that’s your nose working to keep your body neat and clean of unnecessary visitors.
I didn’t make this up. Look it up.
If you have a snotty nose, apart from keeping warm and drinking plenty of fluids, you can wait it out with these jokes about snotty noses.
Here we have put together 100 snotty noses jokes to lighten your mood, bury the sneeze, and make your taste buds a little less crappy.
There will be wordplay, puns, straight jokes, and many more. Hopefully, you’re indoors and properly covered up.
Now wash your hands with soap, tuck in with a glass of ginger tea, and dig in.
1. Guess who’s in attendance at the Snotty Nose convention?
Who?
Miss Tissue.
2. What’s the snotty nose favorite music?
Kleenex Symphony No. 1 in Achoo major!
3. The guy with the snotty nose is late again.
Why?
It had to go to a booger meeting.
4. The snotty nose guy is writing a popular detective movie remake. Guess what it’s called.
What?
Sherlock Snots.
5. How did the guy with the snotty nose find his way back to the village?
He used a booger trail.
6. What did the snotty nose say to the tissue as wedding vows?
“Till snot do us part.”
7. Something made the booger cross the line. What was it?
It was trying to get to the Sneezy side.
8. If snotty nose folks have a holiday, what would it be called?
Snotsgiving.
9. Do you know why noses would never go on strike?
No. Why?
Because boogers can be picked for free.
10. The snotty nose is on the street, under the streetlamp, begging the cold: “I’m not ready to blow this relationship yet.”
11. Snotty nose guy walks into the party and everyone leaves. Why?
Because he knows how to blow everyone away with his nose clearing skills.
12. Snotty nose, what’s your favorite sport?
Snotball.
13. Snotty nose just broke up with the tissue.
It felt too boxed in.
14. If a snotty nose has a favorite movie genre, what would it be?
Snotcoms.
15. The booger enrolled in the university. Wait, why?
To study nose-tronaut.
16. What’s a nose with a cold called?
A runny honker.
17. What did the snotty nose say to the tissue?
I guess we had a good run.
18. What did the snotty nose say to the tissue before the election?
Will you be my running mate?
19. The snotty nose is wearing sunglasses today.
Why?
To hide its runny reputation.
20. What did the snotty nose say to the allergy?
Does it feel stuffy in here or is it just me?
21. The booger looks up at the snotty nose up on the roof with a bottle of beer and says, “He’s definitely snot-high.”
22. I asked snotty nose what it wanted for dessert. It said, “Snot sundaes.”
23. Why is snotty nose sweeping the air with a net?
It wanted to catch its runny thoughts.
24. The education board is proposing a new subject: mucus-ic class, for snotty noses.
25. Snotty nose is all dressed and posted up by the street.
Why?
It’s going on a date.
With who?
The tissue.
26. Snotty nose says, “The government looted the money it took from looters.”
Tissue says, “You mean the government loots the loot.”
Snotty nose replies, “That’s a big tissue.”
27. Snotty nose as a professor in class:
“Now students, open to the nasal passage.”
28. Snotty nose accepting an award:
“I’d like to thank my nasal passages for this honor.”
29. The booger has refused to leave the house.
Why?
It found, “It’s snot worth it.”
30. What did the snotty nose say to the tissue after a hard sneeze?
“Thanks for picking me up.”
31. At the doctor’s
Doctor: how do you feel?
Booger: a little green around the edges.
32. What did the snotty nose say to the handkerchief?
“Take everything, all my love.”
33. What did the snotty nose say to the carpenter who ran out of glue?
“Do you want to try something organic?”
34. How did the snotty nose title its email to the handkerchief?
“Re: This tissue of affection.”
35. The snotty nose is standing in the adult area of the library, looking thoughtfully at books.
Why?
It has found nose-worthy reads.
36. There’s a new game. It’s for snotty noses.
It’s called pick and flick.
37. The snotty nose brings a map to school. In case it needs to find its way to the tissue box.
38. A snotty nose that can’t stop sneezing is called: a sniffle-snaffler.
39. The band lost their flutist. Guess who they got as a replacement.
Who?
A snotty nose for a natural honking.
40. What’s a snotty nose’s favorite accessory?
A snot rag.
41. Recommending the tissue for promotion, snotty nose says, “Thank you for always being handy.”
42. The new game for snotty noses is played in the snow.
What’s it called?
Boogerboarding.
43. What’s a snotty nose’s excuse for not sharing its sandwich?
It didn’t want to spread its germs.
44. The snotty nose said to the germ, “You’re really bogging me down.”
45. The snotty nose just got a gym registration.
Why?
To work on its snots and abs.
46. The snotty nose walks into a bakery and asks, “Do you have Snottsdale?”
47. The snotty nose looks up at the chats and says about the stock market, “Prices are snotdiving.”
48. The tissue just joined the snot convention.
Why?
To wipe out any doubts about its nose-saving abilities.
49. What’s a snotty nose’s favorite game?
Snots and crosses.
50. There’s a booger vlog. It shares nose-worthy knowledge about the world.
51. What did the allergy say to the snotty nose?
You’re really blowing things out of proportion.
52. Every time the snotty nose sings, the tissue gets wet.
53. Every time the snotty nose sings, the tissue blushes.
54. The snotty nose sneezes, the tissue goes, “What for?” after getting sprayed. The snotty nose replies, “That’s my gift to you. It was a part of me. Now it’s yours.”
55. The snotty nose tells its friend, “The tissue is pregnant.”
Friend asks, “With what?”
Tissue goes, “With booger.”
56. A snotty nose’s favorite holiday song?
“I’m Snot Dreaming of a White Christmas.”
57. The snotty nose is at the beach getting a vitamin sea to clear its sinus issue.
58. The snotty nose after finding a tissue: “It’s snot too late.”
59. Snotty nose is always in trouble because it won’t stop picking fights with boogers.
60. Standing on a ledge, a storm blazing past them, snotty nose says to the tissue, “Hang in there. We’ll get through this snotstorm together.”
61. What’s a booger who joined a rock band called?
A snotorious rockstar.
62. The snotty nose said to the nasal spray, “Thanks for the nasal relief, you’re a real nose-saver.”
63. Snotty nose is always on the lookout.
Why?
It has a nose for trouble.
64. What’s snotty nose’s favorite subject in school?
History.
Why?
Because it likes to pick its historical figures.
65. Snotty nose and the tissue are in the gym.
Why?
They’re working on the tissue’s tear resistance.
66. Snotty nose is trying to make up with the chilly wind after the breakup.
But the chilly wind is giving him a cold shoulder.
67. Snotty nose just got its passport.
Why?
It’s going on a vacation. It’s going to be a nose-talgic experience.
68. Snotty noses favorite TV show is playing.
What is it?
The Snotville Chronicles.
69. The snotty nose got fired from his job at the perfume factory.
Why?
It lost its keen sense of smell.
70. The snotty nose thinks the tissue is proud.
Why?
Because the tissue is always in the spotlight during the cold season.
71. What’s a snotty nose’s favorite dance?
The booger-woogie.
72. The snotty nose to the painter in the museum: “I like your paintings. They’re nose-worthy masterpieces.”
73. The snotty nose to the congestion: “You’re really cramping my style.”
74. The snotty nose goes about town, sniffing out the good times.
75. The snotty nose just got itself a nice car.
What brand?
A mucus-tang.
76. The tissue joined politics, along with the snotty nose.
They have a knack for blowing away the competition.
77. What’s a snotty nose’s best game show?
“Snot or not.”
78. Why did the snotty nose take on jury duty?
Because it was sure no one nose the truth.
79. What did the snotty nose say to the sneeze?
You’re not my type but bless you anyway.
80. After a hard sneeze the snotty nose says to the tissue, “Thanks for being my snot-so-secret admirer.”
81. The snotty nose is in college.
Why?
To study nostology.
82. The snotty nose is learning how to play the piano. First lesson: Kleenex Symphony No. 1 in Achoo major!
83. Snotty nose is always late. It needs to meet its booger schedule before checking in.
84. The snotty nose could never hide and seek.
The boogers are a telltale.
85. Snotty nose says to the tissue: “You’re the pick of the bunch.”
86. The snotty nose just started its own band. Guess what it’s called.
What?
The mucusicians.
87. What did the snotty nose say when it saw a mirror? “Well, booger me surprised!”
88. Every time the tissue meets the snotty nose, it blushes.
89. Snotty nose meets the chilly wind and asks, “Do we have a tissue?”
90. What’s a snotty nose’s favorite ride at the amusement park?
The Snot-coaster!
91. What did the nose say to the sneeze? “You caught me off guard, I wasn’t ready to blow!”
92. Snotty nose is throwing a party this weekend. Guess what it’s called?
What?
A snot-fest.
93. What’s a snotty nose’s favorite game on a rainy day?
Snots and ladders!
94. Why did the tissue cross the road? To wipe out any doubts about its absorbency!
95. What did the snotty nose say to the pollen? “You’re really getting under my skin!”
96. Detective Snotty nose is doing well at the bakery.
How?
It’s doing its best kneading the dough without blowing its cover.
97. Why did the snotty nose refuse to go on a date? It didn’t want to get caught in a sticky situation!
98. Why has snotty nose refused to leave the house?
Nosy neighbors.
99. Snotty nose loves movies with more than one part.
You mean, movies with snot-quels?
100. Snotty nose is at the head of the queue.
Call it a snot-line.
How Do You Feel Now?
One other way to keep your snotty nose under control is to have a box of tissue handy.
But enough with the medical tips.
This list of 100 snotty nose jokes is sure to keep you company for the duration of your cold.
Back to the box of tissue, and this is why you need one—you don’t want to spray others with your snot as you laugh at these hilarious snotty nose jokes.