The Jack and Jill story has been sung, written, and retold in so many ways. It is one of the most popular rhymes in the history of rhymes.
The retellings have spurned many versions, both in movie and song—and jokes. Sometimes Jack is Jill’s brother, other times she’s a girl Jack is having an affair with.
A quick search online will show you what I’m talking about.
In this article we’re going fresh with Jack and Jill jokes, dropping 100 of the ones I know.
Don’t worry, they’re all as clean as a whistle. (Are they?)
100 of The Most Creative Jack and Jill Jokes I Know
1. What did Jack say to Jill when they got to the top of the hill?
We made it, Jill! Now let’s conquer the next one.
2. What happened to Jack by the time they got to the top of the hill with the bucket in his hand?
His biceps were so big he was ready to win the Mr. Olympia.
3. Why did Jack and Jill climb the hill with a map?
To make sure they didn’t lose their way in the maze should they find one.
4. Why did Jack and Jill get to the top of the hill late?
They met a rabbit on their way who wanted to chat.
5. Jack and Jill went up the hill with a first aid kit.
Why?
Just in case Jack’s crown fell again.
6. Why did Jack and Jill fall asleep on their way to the top of the hill?
They got hungry and ate too much.
7. What happened to Jack and Jill when they got to the bottom of the hill?
They had to go back up again. They forgot the water.
8. Jack and Jill spent the whole autumn on the hill.
Why?
They decided to enjoy the view.
9. Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill?
Because Jack’s GPS said there was water on that hill.
10. What did Jack say to Jill when they got to the top of the hill?
Well, that was an uphill battle!
11. Why did Jill refuse to go up the hill with Jack?
Because she wanted her own crown too. Equal rights.
12. How did Jack and Jill cope with boredom on their way up the hill?
They played hide and seek.
13. Jack and Jill went up the hill to get away from house work.
14. Jack and Jill went up the hill to escape school.
15. Jack and Jill couldn’t go up the hill because Jack pawned the crown.
16. Jack refused to go up the hill with Jill. She asked why.
Jack says, “Have you seen all the se^ual jokes about us on Reddit? No, Jill, ain’t going up the hill with you.”
17. Jack won’t go up the hill and Jill worries, asking why.
“Who says there’s water on the hill when water never flows up but down?”
18. Jack and Jill didn’t come down the hill with water.
What did they come down with then?
Nothing.
19. Jack and Jill have been gone up the hill for years. Have you seen them?
No. But I saw a family of six on the hill. The man and woman share a strong resemblance.
20. Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill?
To get a clearer view of their issues.
21. Jack fell on his way down the hill.
What happened then?
He landed in the ICU of course.
22. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch water but didn’t come back for a year.
Why?
They started a potato farm up there.
23. Jack and Jill went up the hill to escape from their mom but found her waiting there.
24. Jack and Jill came down with an empty bucket because they got thirsty and drank all the water.
25. When Jack fell down the hill, it was much like the stock market.
26. Jack fell and broke his crown: what was he wearing a crown for?
He thought they might start a civilization up there on the hill.
27. What else does Jack do other than going up the hill with Jill?
Sometimes they go down the hill, they go to the market to sell anything. Jack of all trades.
28. What’s the thing Jack’s name and iPhone have in common?
Both have no room for jack in them.
29. Jack and Jill jokes get you anywhere but down.
30. If Jack and Jill were characters in a horror movie, what would the title be?
The Hills Have Eyes.
31. What did Jack and Jill do when they saw the thunderstorm coming?
They took to their hills.
32. Who’s hill did Jack and Jill climb in the story?
The camel’s back.
It’s the only kind of hill that has water.
33. What did Jack say at the interview?
I’m a goal-getter. I’ll get it even if I have to climb a hill.
34. What did Jill say during an argument?
This is a hill I’ll die on.
35. What did Jack ask Jill when she told him grandma died?
You mean grandma kicked the bucket?
36. In class, the teacher says, what goes up must come down.
Jill says, “Like me and my brother?”
37. What did Jack say when he heard, “headphone jack?”
He asked, “Is that a phone for boys?”
38. What’s the opposite of a carjacker?
A car jiller.
39. Who was carrying the bucket of water: Jack or Jill?
Jack.
Why?
Because his crown fell and broke.
40. What kind of song was Jill singing on their way down the hill?
Hillsong.
41. Jack has a lot of jokes, a bucket load of them.
42. How old were Jack and Jill when they climbed up the hill?
They were stupid-old.
43. How far was it from the bottom of the hill to the top?
It was so far Jack went out of breath and fell.
44. Why was Jack wearing a crown by the way?
Hw mistook it for a helmet.
45. What did Jack and Jill do after fetching water?
They splashed around in the river.
46. Jack’s dog followed them up the hill.
Why?
Even Rover wanted to fetch something too.
47. What did Jack say when Jill asked if they could bring an umbrella?
Nope. We’ll just run faster if it rains.
48. Why did Jack have a map on the journey up the hill?
He thought he’ll go prospecting for gold after fetching the water.
49. What did they do when Jack and Jill couldn’t find water?
They held a picnic.
50. What did Jack and Jill do when they forgot to bring the water down the hill?
They went back up.
51. What did Jack say when Jill asked if they should take a break halfway up the hill?
No way, Jill! We’re halfway to the top; let’s keep climbing!
52. Why did Jack and Jill bring a first aid kit with them on their hill excursion? Just in case Jack’s crown fell off again!
53. What did Jack say when Jill asked if they should bring a camera on the hill climb?
Yes, Jill! We’ll capture every moment of our love-filled journey for eternity!
54. Why did Jack bring a harmonica to the hill climb?
To serenade Jill with sweet melodies.
55. Jack and Jill saw a squirrel on their way up the hill. They stopped to eat nuts with the squirrel.
56. Jack and Jill went up the hill with a kite because the wind was blowing fine and Jill wanted to have fun.
57. Jill wanted to go up the hill with a tent but Jack said, No, we’ll just sleep under the stars and count our blessings.
58. Jack and Jill went up the hill with a book.
Why?
To read love poems to each other as they rested.
59. Jill wanted to go up the hill with a blanket but Jack said, no, we’ll warm each other’s heart.
60. Why did Jack bring a kite on the hill climb?
To show Jill just how high his love for her is.
61. What did Jack and Jill do when they got to the top of the hill?
They hugged each other and said, We made it. Now we can conquer any hill.
62. Why did Jack and Jill bring binoculars to the top of the hill?
To spy on their mother. They wanted to know why she insisted on getting water from the hill.
63. What did Jack say when Jill asked if they should pack a picnic for the hill adventure?
Absolutely, Jill! It’s not a hill picnic without some cheese and wine!
64. Why did Jack and Jill bring telescopes with them on their hill expedition?
To stargaze once they reached the top!
65. What did Jack and Jill do when they saw a rainbow on their hill journey?
They followed it, hoping to find a pot of gold where the rainbow ends.
66. Why did Jack and Jill bring sunglasses with them on the hill climb?
To shield their eyes from the sun.
67. What did Jill say when she saw the sun?
Jack, look, the sun is coming with us too.
68. What did Jack say when Jill asked if they should take a break halfway up the hill?
No way, Jill! We’re halfway to heaven; let’s keep climbing to cloud nine.
69. Why did Jack and Jill bring a map with them on the hill trek?
To make sure they didn’t accidentally stumble upon a troll’s lair.
70. What did Jill say when Jack forgot the water bucket at the bottom of the hill?
Jack, you’re such a spill-grimage.
71. How did Jack and Jill communicate while climbing the hill? They used walkie-talkies. In case one of them fell down.
72. Why did Jack and Jill bring a compass on their hill adventure?
Because they wanted to find true love at the top.
73. What did Jack say when Jill asked if they should bring snacks for the hill climb?
We can’t go up the hill on an empty stomach, that would be a hill-arious mistake.
74. Why did Jack and Jill carry a backpack up the hill?
To store all these hill-arious jokes.
75. Why did Jack become an autobiographer?
He knew people would corrupt Jack and Jill jokes. He wants to tell their own story, truthfully.
76. What did Jack say when Jill suggested taking a shortcut up the hill?
Jill, shortcuts are for math problems, not hill climbing.
77. Why did Jack and Jill bring a blanket up the hill?
In case they wanted to have a cozy hillside picnic.
78. Why did Jack and Jill bring a guitar on their hill climb?
To strum up some romantic tunes and sing the leaves to sleep.
79. Why did Jill get angry at Jack?
Because another girl was waiting for Jack at the well when they reached the top of the hill.
80. Why did Jack and Jill bring a telescope up the hill?
To see the shooting star more clearly so they can wish upon it.
81. What did Jack say when Jill asked if they should bring energy drinks?
We’ll need fuel for all the hilltop dancing we’ll be doing.
82. Jack has to be a vain guy. What was he wearing a crown for?
83. Why did Jack and Jill bring a sketchbook on their hill climb?
To make drawings and doodles.
84. What did Jack say when Jill asked if they should bring a thermos of hot cocoa? That’s a hill of a good idea. Nothing warms the heart like a cup of cocoa.
85. Why did Jack and Jill bring a pet rabbit on their hill adventure?
Because Jill loves to see the pet hop around the hillside. It makes her forget that Jack is a jerk with a crown.
86. Why did Jill start a journal?
To record every time Jack fell and his crown broke.
87. Why did Jack fall and break his crown?
He tripped over his ego.
88. What made Jack fall and break his crown?
He was distracted by Blondie, Jill’s friend.
89. What did Jack do with his crown after he fell and broke it?
He pawned it. It was made of gold.
90. What did Jack’s mother do after Jack fell and broke his crown?
Jack’s mother did a yard sale and sold the broken crown.
91. Where was Jack’s broken crown found?
On eBay, going for $1000.
92. What did Jack ride up the hill the next time?
A dirt bike. He wanted to prevent another fall.
93. Why did Jack bury his crown after it broke?
Like the bean that grew to a giant stalk, he wanted the crown to grow too.
94. What happened after Jack and Jill got home with the bucket of water?
The water wasn’t enough for the family.
95. Why did Jack change his name?
He wanted to become a politician but there’s a lot of misinformation about what happened on the hill with Jill.
96. Why did Jill lose her boyfriend?
Because he heard all the jokes about Jack and Jill on the hill. They were gross.
97. What side of the hill did Jack and Jill come down?
The rocky side.
98. How come Jill wasn’t carrying the bucket of water or holding the crown?
Because her hands were wrapped around Jake, Jack’s best friend.
99. Why could Jill not carry the bucket of water?
She was actually pregnant
100. Who told Jack and Jill there was water on the hill?
The wolf from Red Riding Hood. He was plotting to eat the siblings.
Conclusion
Whew!
It’s been fun telling you all the jokes I know about Jack and Jill, from the hilariously improbable to the grossly possible one.
We have to admit there are even worse Jack and Jill stories out there. But we have kept things mellow here to preserve the legacy of one of the most popular rhymes of our various childhoods.